Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
