mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
