If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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