I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
