You're a womanizer and a bitch.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
third nipple confirmed
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
