i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
