ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she smelled like a LAN party
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i out mim tonsoeep
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
