They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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