I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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