FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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