So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
