Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
