I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You can't motorboat a personality
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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