Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We have started to decorate penises.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
