You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
