Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
