what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
