I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Bring me that man meat
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
