Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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