How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i think i have two assholes
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
