now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I know her cup size but not her name....
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
