Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
