you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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