is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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