I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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