We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
