is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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