I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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