Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I lost the right to judge tonight
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
