i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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