So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
