I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
