dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
