his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
