One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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