ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
