..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
