but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
