just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
this will be a night to untag.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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