You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
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