i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
