Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
