i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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