we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
