The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
