So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
