It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
