There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
