Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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