I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
high people should be assigned attendants
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
