Where did you get a picture of my penis
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
