My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
