Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
